Inspirational

State of a Writer’s Mind

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

For the past couple years, I have been in a mental state of which all writers endure from time to time- writer’s block. It is a struggle that I envisioned to be, and that was usually, just a temporary brain lapse; it would soon be cured with those sudden drops of ideas to relieve me from this gray area that freezes my hands over the typewriter or pauses my pen in mid-air. The climate of the world changed with an insane amount of intensity and at the same time mother nature made the clock strike midnight on my body. Unlike when I am writing a story, I had reached a chapter that did not have an ending- menopause. My flashes of creative spark were now just hot flashes. I thought I was going to go crazy! It didn’t just include hormones but also included the world around me.

The Covid pandemic and all its repercussions only added to what felt like the deterioration of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state. Like most of you, I adjusted to the new limitations. I looked forward to not having to put on my “mask” of showing up at work or going about my daily responsibilities with a fake smile. I was happy to stay at home and work, no longer having to deal with the office politics and cattiness that all of us tolerate but do not enjoy. The solitude would give me the opportunity to reflect, I thought to myself. With less time needed to get ready in the morning and commute to my job, I falsely thought I would have more moments to meditate and enjoy my outlet of writing. However, this did not happen. My brain only curled up in a corner like a frightened puppy.

If you read scripture and listen to sermons like me, Jeremiah 29:11 is familiar because it is used quite a bit in “feel good” sermons that sends a deceiving message to the listener that they will get their way very soon. The actual context of this scripture was that God’s people were in Babylon, a place that they did not want to be, for 70 years. God promised He would bring them home again but not on their desired timeline.

Just like the people in Babylon that were forced to remain in a place that was unfamiliar, God began my spiritually painful metamorphosis. At times it still seems like it will never ease up. I have learned and am still learning, that my way is not God’s way. Yes, it may line up from time to time but if we were to do a study on our lives and the statistics of how often things work out exactly as we envisioned, the odds of skipping down multiple bunny and butterfly lanes in life are very low. What the scripture, and the context of the scripture, now clearly shows me is that God has me in a chapter of feeling “stuck” for a reason. His plan (not mine, where I instantly am freed from my writer’s block and the moodiness of my hormones) is to bless not just me but also others, right where I am. In this midst of my various episodes of feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious and despair, He will show me hope and He will bond with me once again because I am still (not still by choice, I would like to reiterate once again). He wants to show me that I need to turn to Him, not fretting and chasing what I think is good (getting my way) but only fills my spiritual void temporarily.

My need to have worldly validation- everyone doing what I want or to be provided with external praise and acceptance- is my habitual mindset. I realize that I have been blinded by my longing for my writings to create a deep bond with others before reforming my bond with Him. My passion for writing was instilled in me since I was born; He placed it in my DNA with an intent to become closer to Him then to others, not the other way around. Once I was reminded of this scripture, I realized that God is shutting doors so that I can learn to only look “up” and not “around”. This state, this spiritual and emotional stagnancy, is to teach me and reignite my creative gifts that honor Him, right where I am. He wants me to be freed from the bondage of fear that people will mock or judge my writings. It is this fear that has me running from the gifts and tools provided for me. By having me remain in this current state of “Babylon”, my eyes can be opened to the internal confidence and joy that comes from me writing to honor God, inspire and help others. Nothing. Else. Matters.

Once I am filled with self-acceptance that overrides any negative scenarios I imagine in my mind, I will be elevated to another dimension, another state of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual clarity. He will pen paths that take me out of my cloud of despair and into a place of higher consciousness; a level where Spirit is exalted and nothing else dictates the direction of my life. I will live in an intangible land where I am free from self-condemnation and fears. This new freedom will show through my writing. His plan for promises of hope and a good future will help not only me but multitudes of people. God’s will to use me where my feet are presently planted will result in Him bringing me back to my roots, the core of who I truly am in His eyes. He will bring me home.

My point of sharing all of this with you? If you, like me, are aspiring to create and you feel that pull to express yourself through a medium (no pun intended), but it seems that cloud of self-doubt starts to surround you, just know that you are not alone. I, too, am in the process of escaping that same cloud. His promises occur even in those areas where we feel stuck. When we feel that gentle tug to write down a random thought, no matter how slight, do not let cognitive distortion stunt a potential change in the state of your own personal Babylon. Follow your spiritual guide right where you reside and trust all the skills that God instilled in you.

I will do the same.

Inspirational

Wish

In a world where I feel disconnect
Dangling from the sky
Hanging on to what I wished upon
Not feeling the light in this dark place
I reach for relief, only to look down
The vicious circle that continues to spin
I can’t seem to make it stop
Dangling with all I have
If I let go I am at the will
Of this spatial abyss
Only to collapse within myself
Oh wait, it’s no different
Landing on my feet
Or downward to my death
The wish I might
Is not the wish I may
It appears the heavens
Can not hear my cries
Trying to hold on
My arms grow weary
Like my eyes that have seen
More darkness than stars
I just dangle from the sky
Hanging on to what I wish upon

Inspirational

Blacktop Rivers

blacktop river poem pic

I had to leave the point of where I was

Left in the thoughts of hell was pretty rough

I had taken many roads before that wasn’t too wise

Only to end up full circle, what a surprise

Back to square one and I couldn’t get away

From the child in me that wanted to stay

Good bye to the ways of the woe

As I float on down this windy road

 

The blacktop rivers

The rivers..the blacktop rivers

Seek and you shall find

The freedom of your mind

The blacktop rivers release the blind

Get on the road of discovery

The blacktop rivers of clarity

Letting it go..letting it go

Set your mind free

 

Blacktop Rivers where my mind goes free

Movin’ to my dream, the road beneath my feet

Pressing forward without touchin’ the ground

Letting the wind brush past me, my thoughts with no sound

 

I’m just letting my mind go free

On the blacktop rivers to the powers that be

The blacktop rivers where no one can stop me

I’m just letting my mind go free

 

Blacktop Rivers where my mind goes free

Movin’ to my dream, the road beneath my feet

Pressin’ forward without touchin’ the ground

Letting the wind brush past me, my thoughts with no sound

 

I’m just letting my mind go free

On the blacktop rivers to the powers that be

The blacktop rivers where no one can stop me

I’m just letting my mind go free

 

On the blacktop rivers to the powers that be

 

Copyright Stefanie Boggs-Johnson

 

Inspirational

Mirror Talk: Isolation

Always push through the mindset to isolate. On a day that you do, the people God plops in front of you on the other side make you want to keep showing up for your life.

I am a social butterfly that flutters back to hiding at home once my masks are off. Despite my crazy and goofy butt, it’s been rough for me in many areas. I may not be able to foresee every arrow the devil aims at me but will practice at not letting the cloudy emotions talk me into hiding so much at home. If this resonates with some of you at the perfect moment, then I did my duty of the day..reminded you that you aren’t alone. So don’t lock yourself in. The struggles that you think separates you is actually what will connect you with genuine people because it is the same trials so many others endure. Humans weren’t designed to cry- or celebrate-alone. It always takes a village.

Look in the mirror daily and be sure to remind person staring back at you the above words. I too will do the same. 🤗

#MirrorTalk

Inspirational

Mirror Talk: Belief Systems

God’s promise to give you gladness in proportion to your past misery is a constant energy. The promise was stated, is stated and will be stated repeatedly. The ability to see the promise is based on seeing any current belief systems in an area of your life that needs to change. The proportion promise is available in small amounts or large amounts depending on that particular sector of your inner world. It isn’t always an “all or nothing” reform. God knows at what level you are capable of realizing certain spiritual blocks. He knows more than you know about yourself. He knows when it is time for a huge awakening or epiphany and when it is able to be received by you in droplets. As you see the belief systems that no longer work for you, God watches as you locate the tools He has set before you. The resources to this “joy” you always wanted but never seem to truly grasp are realized as little by little, step by step one of your many blinders is removed.

As one block is removed, a new one is laid down for the building of a new belief system. You are on your way.

#MirrorTalk #BeliefSystems