Inspirational

State of a Writer’s Mind

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

For the past couple years, I have been in a mental state of which all writers endure from time to time- writer’s block. It is a struggle that I envisioned to be, and that was usually, just a temporary brain lapse; it would soon be cured with those sudden drops of ideas to relieve me from this gray area that freezes my hands over the typewriter or pauses my pen in mid-air. The climate of the world changed with an insane amount of intensity and at the same time mother nature made the clock strike midnight on my body. Unlike when I am writing a story, I had reached a chapter that did not have an ending- menopause. My flashes of creative spark were now just hot flashes. I thought I was going to go crazy! It didn’t just include hormones but also included the world around me.

The Covid pandemic and all its repercussions only added to what felt like the deterioration of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state. Like most of you, I adjusted to the new limitations. I looked forward to not having to put on my “mask” of showing up at work or going about my daily responsibilities with a fake smile. I was happy to stay at home and work, no longer having to deal with the office politics and cattiness that all of us tolerate but do not enjoy. The solitude would give me the opportunity to reflect, I thought to myself. With less time needed to get ready in the morning and commute to my job, I falsely thought I would have more moments to meditate and enjoy my outlet of writing. However, this did not happen. My brain only curled up in a corner like a frightened puppy.

If you read scripture and listen to sermons like me, Jeremiah 29:11 is familiar because it is used quite a bit in “feel good” sermons that sends a deceiving message to the listener that they will get their way very soon. The actual context of this scripture was that God’s people were in Babylon, a place that they did not want to be, for 70 years. God promised He would bring them home again but not on their desired timeline.

Just like the people in Babylon that were forced to remain in a place that was unfamiliar, God began my spiritually painful metamorphosis. At times it still seems like it will never ease up. I have learned and am still learning, that my way is not God’s way. Yes, it may line up from time to time but if we were to do a study on our lives and the statistics of how often things work out exactly as we envisioned, the odds of skipping down multiple bunny and butterfly lanes in life are very low. What the scripture, and the context of the scripture, now clearly shows me is that God has me in a chapter of feeling “stuck” for a reason. His plan (not mine, where I instantly am freed from my writer’s block and the moodiness of my hormones) is to bless not just me but also others, right where I am. In this midst of my various episodes of feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious and despair, He will show me hope and He will bond with me once again because I am still (not still by choice, I would like to reiterate once again). He wants to show me that I need to turn to Him, not fretting and chasing what I think is good (getting my way) but only fills my spiritual void temporarily.

My need to have worldly validation- everyone doing what I want or to be provided with external praise and acceptance- is my habitual mindset. I realize that I have been blinded by my longing for my writings to create a deep bond with others before reforming my bond with Him. My passion for writing was instilled in me since I was born; He placed it in my DNA with an intent to become closer to Him then to others, not the other way around. Once I was reminded of this scripture, I realized that God is shutting doors so that I can learn to only look “up” and not “around”. This state, this spiritual and emotional stagnancy, is to teach me and reignite my creative gifts that honor Him, right where I am. He wants me to be freed from the bondage of fear that people will mock or judge my writings. It is this fear that has me running from the gifts and tools provided for me. By having me remain in this current state of “Babylon”, my eyes can be opened to the internal confidence and joy that comes from me writing to honor God, inspire and help others. Nothing. Else. Matters.

Once I am filled with self-acceptance that overrides any negative scenarios I imagine in my mind, I will be elevated to another dimension, another state of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual clarity. He will pen paths that take me out of my cloud of despair and into a place of higher consciousness; a level where Spirit is exalted and nothing else dictates the direction of my life. I will live in an intangible land where I am free from self-condemnation and fears. This new freedom will show through my writing. His plan for promises of hope and a good future will help not only me but multitudes of people. God’s will to use me where my feet are presently planted will result in Him bringing me back to my roots, the core of who I truly am in His eyes. He will bring me home.

My point of sharing all of this with you? If you, like me, are aspiring to create and you feel that pull to express yourself through a medium (no pun intended), but it seems that cloud of self-doubt starts to surround you, just know that you are not alone. I, too, am in the process of escaping that same cloud. His promises occur even in those areas where we feel stuck. When we feel that gentle tug to write down a random thought, no matter how slight, do not let cognitive distortion stunt a potential change in the state of your own personal Babylon. Follow your spiritual guide right where you reside and trust all the skills that God instilled in you.

I will do the same.

Inspirational

Mirror Talk: Isolation

Always push through the mindset to isolate. On a day that you do, the people God plops in front of you on the other side make you want to keep showing up for your life.

I am a social butterfly that flutters back to hiding at home once my masks are off. Despite my crazy and goofy butt, it’s been rough for me in many areas. I may not be able to foresee every arrow the devil aims at me but will practice at not letting the cloudy emotions talk me into hiding so much at home. If this resonates with some of you at the perfect moment, then I did my duty of the day..reminded you that you aren’t alone. So don’t lock yourself in. The struggles that you think separates you is actually what will connect you with genuine people because it is the same trials so many others endure. Humans weren’t designed to cry- or celebrate-alone. It always takes a village.

Look in the mirror daily and be sure to remind person staring back at you the above words. I too will do the same. 🤗

#MirrorTalk

Inspirational

Mirror Talk: Belief Systems

God’s promise to give you gladness in proportion to your past misery is a constant energy. The promise was stated, is stated and will be stated repeatedly. The ability to see the promise is based on seeing any current belief systems in an area of your life that needs to change. The proportion promise is available in small amounts or large amounts depending on that particular sector of your inner world. It isn’t always an “all or nothing” reform. God knows at what level you are capable of realizing certain spiritual blocks. He knows more than you know about yourself. He knows when it is time for a huge awakening or epiphany and when it is able to be received by you in droplets. As you see the belief systems that no longer work for you, God watches as you locate the tools He has set before you. The resources to this “joy” you always wanted but never seem to truly grasp are realized as little by little, step by step one of your many blinders is removed.

As one block is removed, a new one is laid down for the building of a new belief system. You are on your way.

#MirrorTalk #BeliefSystems

Inspirational

Mirror Talk: Proportion

Psalms 90:15 Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery

You must start believing that you deserve the gladness that God is placing in your path. The joy that you receive is in proportion to the release of the need to blame others for the misery that occurred in your life. The more you believe that you are responsible for your life, the more you make room for the good to exist in your life. Not willing to take responsibility for your life only means that you choose to hold on to your perceived limitations. When you ask God to provide some joy in your life, you must face the root of your former misery–the belief that you aren’t deserving of the good that is ready to be sent your way.

Give up living in a state of mind that is comfortable with misery. Make room for the internal work of building the belief system that you add value because you exist. People that have entered your life and overlooked your worth is not the same as God overlooking your worth. His unconditional energy will flow through you in equal measure that you release the conditional, negative energy that you have carried for far too long. Start believing you deserve it in order to manifest it.

Start believing God when He tells you how He views you as valuable. Do not go by the memories of the tangible (people, places or things) and current circumstances that support the old belief system of which you grew accustomed. Realize the habit you have of keeping certain people and patterns in your life that help you remain in a spinning circle of excuses. Once you begin to release those negative patterns, they will be replaced with an endless supply of growth and joy. The more you believe that you don’t deserve a prosperous life, the more God is ready to show you that He believes you do, since the moment He created you. The proportion of love and goodness is equal to these blocks which must be removed. Release so that you may increase-in Him.

#MirrorTalk #Proportion

Inspirational

Mirror Talk: Brain Wash

Mirror Talk Brain Wash

Romans 7:17-20 

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

 

Start observing your thoughts.  In order for awareness to occur, in order to see the darkness that is guiding your actions, there must be light.  Like the light that separates the dark, awareness is the separation of yourself from your thoughts.  You first must think about what you are thinking about.  The protective mechanisms originate in your mind.  To remain feeling safe from the moment you were born, you imitated patterns of behavior to feel connected to the world.  As time went on, some of these patterns remained habits, an automatic reaction based on what you saw others repeatedly do or say.  The type of nurturing you received shaped your mind.  Based on the level of healthy nurturing, it formed survival skills that were perceived to have served a purpose at certain stages of your life but that no longer serve you today.  You must become aware of what thought patterns and behavior responses no longer serve a purpose.  Your self-talk begins to change when you hear what it is telling you.  Does the chatter softly direct you or does the chatter mutter quickly?  What is your brain saying?  Begin to talk back to your brain.  Start speaking to the subconscious thoughts that surface when you are by yourself. Behind all the people and daily circumstances that occur in front of you is a repeated scenario or conversation playing in your mind.  It is these repeated scenarios or conversations within your thoughts that either bind you or free you.  Become aware of the fact that this isn’t “just the way you are”.  Become aware of your thoughts.  This is the first step of renewal, being able to build the habit of stepping back when in the midst of a situation.  Observing your thoughts begins the awareness of any habitually negative thought patterns that needs to be washed out.

 

Romans 7:21-23 

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

 

The process of renewing your mind is to remember that there is worth in powerlessness. You have value despite people, places or things that are out of your control.  You can’t control an environment based on what behaviors others deem as worthy, it is only your first internal response that determines the circumstances.  You can not change what is outside of you, only what is within you.  Giving God permission to begin laying the foundations of new perceptions means giving up your survival mechanisms.  It means being powerless, standing back and paying attention to what He is trying to speak, teach or form in your life.  During this transfer of power, you do not become less.  You begin to see that your worth starts with words you let Him engrave in your mind.  Interrupt your own made up conversations and in that space of interruption, listen.  You do not need to jump through hoops in order to get people to treat you in a manner that helps you feel better about yourself.  That is the power, which you thought you could contain, that you are releasing.

 

Romans 7:24-25

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

 

Beginning a brain washing is not equivalent to being out of touch with reality.  If anything, it is about finally beginning to live in the reality, being where your feet are currently placed and not habitually viewing the moment as a repeat of your past.  You are filtering out the layers one at a time.  The past protective behaviors and mechanisms that help you not feel vulnerable are actually the very things that keep you in a repeated cycle.  Once you lay down these protections, God can step in to reshape your outlook to the point that when you think you are being thrown out to the wolves you actually have landed among new trails of growth.  The new life that wants to be formed is already within you. Life (light) or death (dark) begins with your internal conversations.  Let God change the conversations by letting him gently pull you back to the sidelines so that you are no longer in the middle of the battle scenario.  You can learn to stop beating yourself up and choose the thought trail that leads to a beneficial outcome of acceptance. Acceptance means that not everyone or everything will go in a direction that you would prefer, including yourself.  It is a continual process to step back daily and see your world exactly as it is right now- not exactly as it was in the past nor exactly as you imagine it to be in the future.  Stop the trip ups that always seem to occur because you keep mentally tripping back to your mind movies of the past.  Step into His power and Let God redirect. Release the old thoughts to Him, be still to receive the new as He gets rid of the old and be open to starting over.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

#MirrorTalk #BrainWash